On this spring morning, with my cat by my side, I began my usual ritual of talking myself into facing another day. Yet, I felt lighter that day. Something was different. I viewed a smile in my mirror and felt an urge to scream without fright. Initially, I cautioned myself to hide my feelings; then, I remembered that I was free of my abuser. No longer is my life controlled.
So, I allowed myself the privilege of feeling like a person free to be themselves; I screamed because no one could tell me that I was not allowed to feel. Yet, at 61, I still felt like a child about to be punished for letting people know that she was alive. Then, because no one came to brutalize me for being human, I continued to attempt to decide what has offered me this freedom. As my screaming session came to an end, I felt another unusual feeling. I was looking forward to living the following minutes, hours, days, and years of my life.
Yet, my heartstrings let me know that a small part of me will always be that abused, frightened little girl. On the other hand, I found myself not wanting to watch for them to take all my good away from me. I wondered if I would ever recover from their abuse. Then, I allowed myself to accept that I was a survivor, which opened my doors for the freedom to be happy to replace their heavy hands and words.
Once you unleash the memories, begin not to look back. Smile, and understand that you are allowed to love yourself. And, whether you are attempting to rid your soul of your abuser’s stench, or you need to beat them legally, your strength gained in recovery makes you an unbeatable worrier.
The legal battles, whether custody issues against a narcissist or you are up against CPS, are torturous because they involve your children. You become locked into being the victim no matter what you do or where you live. The issues are very similar around the world. Attorneys, judges, and almost anyone that you turn to for help do not understand. You are left feeling broken, often broke, but know in your heart that you cannot give up.
I understand. Please let me help.
Feel free to message me at any time; I understand what you are going through as a survivor, alienated parent, or if you are locked into a CPS case. I am a Legal Advocate, not an attorney, who has lived a similar story to yours. With my doctorate and life experience, I can help you understand your case. Then I continue to work with you until the direction of your case is positive.
As a Life Coach and survivor, I can help you understand what you are going through as a survivor while working together to help you find the freedom to live a happy, successful life. I want you to know what it is like to say that you love yourself while looking forward to a bright future.
I am looking forward to meeting you very soon and working to “Unstick” you from your abuser and past. Please feel free to email me at any time.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate, & Survivor
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate