Dear Survivors: Many people told me that one day I would feel unlivable guilt for what I did or didn’t do for my mother. On November 23, 2020, those words were tested. Yet, guilt is the one emotion that I do not feel. Part of me felt relief, the other anger, and I discovered that …
My Psychotic Narcissistic Mother Will Never Abuse Me Again! Read More »
Dogs represent all that is good in relationships. They love and nurture those that they care about without strings attached. A mother dog loves her babies with that same unconditional love. Have you ever watched a dog nurture its young? They allow the puppy to venture out on its own until danger approaches They block …
While searching for your sanity, you only find comfort when alone because confusion and fear of others seem to be taking over your reality. For some reason you have begun to feel the need to examine why you exist, making you feel as if you should give up because nothing you do or say is …
Keeping Your Sanity During a Gaslighting Campaign! Read More »
It was a beautiful day, which I expected to be a wonderful one until I stopped for coffee and overheard an older woman talking about her daughter. All she seemed to have to say about her daughter was how cruel she was to leave her in such desperate need of someone to help her with …
No, it can’t be. Not another cold. I have been sick for weeks. My body feels like it is falling apart. What is wrong with me, they tell me that I am a survivor. There are days when I don’t feel steady on my feet. Sometimes even a bit dizzy. Not to mention the …
Am I living, or just have a life? What is life? What is survival? What is love? As survivors, many of us are experiencing things we should have learned as children for the first time. Some say that we remind them of young children with all the questions and thoughts that we constantly …
What is abuse? A question I will never stop pondering. I wish none of us ever had to contemplate questions regarding abuse.Why am I trying to understand what abuse is? Am I a victim? Or, did I do something to make the person want to leave me with this black eye and empty feeling? And, …
I always felt as if I was a thing. My narcissists needed something to help them impress others. Out of our home, I was to have no feelings or human needs. Inside our home I stayed their thing as I became their punching bag, my feelings were crushed with their smearing campaigns, and I was …
As holidays come and go, I wonder what it would be like to enjoy the day. Or, what it would be like to be anticipating being with loved ones while laughing and exchanging hugs and goodies. With the sun coming up signifying that another holiday is beginning, I listen for signs of happiness when I …
Holidays; Through the Eyes of an Abuse Survivor! Read More »