From the heart of this Alienated Parent!
When I woke up this morning, I cried as I looked out of my window because I saw the remains of another storm. I also cried because the storm had not washed away my pain. Then I turned away from the dying rain and winds, to see that my loneliness extended far beyond that of a natural catastrophe. My heart was torn to pieces as I asked where my children were.
I want to love my babies. I want to hold my children. Not watch them grow in my imagination while fearfully thinking about the last time they were beaten. Or, quiver at the thought of when their father or his new girlfriend molested my seven-year-old daughter or five-year-old son.
Why does my baby girl talk to me about sex? She talks as if she is an adult when she carries the chronological age of seven. Where is her childhood going? I feel helpless. I ask her caseworker why she asks these questions, but, I get no response.
No matter how long it takes, I will save my babies. Or, will I be allowed to before they are turned against me? Why are they beginning to say that they don’t want to talk to me while I cry each day for their pain?
If I cannot help my children, I want to die. Then I remind myself that I must continue to live because my children need me. I cannot give up on them. I know that their words against me are not their own. My heart cries for their pain of being alienated.
Never have I had the support of another. Today, I reach for a shoulder or someone within the system who understands. Three years have gone by, with no help found. During those years, I have been allowed only short supervised visits. A year ago, those visits were taken away. The judge claimed that I was abusively alienating my children. Yet, children’s next-door neighbor calls me often with reports of sounds of ugliness coming from their home. My words of desperation fall on empty ears.
How can I be abusing my children when I am not allowed to see them? Why am I being accused of parental alienation? All that I am doing is trying to save them from living an abusive life. I cry every day for my babies because I know that they are being forced to hate me while suffering emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.
I try to report to the right people in the system. I have called to have well checks from their local Children Protective Services. Yet, I became mislabeled as the abusive parent ruled by the court to be forbidden to communicate or see my beautiful babies.
What am I doing wrong?
Sincerely,
Betty (Alienated Parent)
PS. I used this letter because a year ago Betty committed suicide. Her final words stung, which were, “If I am not allowed to protect my children, I do not want to live.” She shot herself in the head in the house where she last lived with her children.
As I dried the tears from my eyes, my last communications with Betty forced me to realize that it was time for me to share what I could offer as a Legal Advocate with Alienated Parents, no matter where they live in the world!
My goal is to help as many Alienation Parents as possible see their children live in safety.
So, what did this Alienated Parent do wrong? And, what can you do to win your case?
First, you have to understand that the professionals are ruling that you are the alienating parent based on the textbook definition of parental alienation. Sadly, attorneys, judges, caseworkers, social workers, and even a few therapists only see parental alienation as the manipulation, whether consciously or unconsciously, of a child against the other parent.
It is also very important to remember who is performing the abuse, and who becomes the alienated parent is not a gender issue. The problem lies with how the innocent parent communicates with the legal system.
If you are attempting to tell professionals that your children are being abused, and you become labeled as an alienated parent, you are often left wondering how that is possible.
- Did you state that the other parent is abusing your child?
- Did you indicate that you have talked to your child about the abuse?
- Or, did you state that your child has talked to you about different things the other parent does or says to them?
If your answer is yes, to any of those questions, the professionals see their ruling as correct because you are acting the textbook definition of an alienated parent. This link will help you understand more about how the system defines who is the parent performing the alienation Psychology Today. You are being seen as manipulating your child against the other parent, which is often noted as being child abuse.
It is also important to educate yourself on how to recognize the basic symptoms of Parental Alienation in your children, which are:
- Your child may show signs of feeling helpless
- Your child may begin to view life as empty or meaningless
- Your child may begin to feel as if he or she is being left out of conversations or events
- Your child may find it difficult to approach or speak to others, especially his or her parents
- Your child may begin to feel that it is unsafe to interact with others
- Your child may begin to refuse to obey rules
- Your child may begin to have a poor appetite or begin to overeat
- Your child may begin to sleep excessively or have insomnia
- Your child may begin to show signs of severe fatigue
- Your child may begin to have low self-worth
- Your child may begin to have feelings of helplessness
- Your child may begin to show signs of nervousness
- Your child may begin to be unable to concentrate
How can I save my children from the abuse, if I cannot talk about it?
If you want to save your children from the abuse of another, talk to professionals regarding facts. Ask them why your child is exhibiting different symptoms without saying what you think? Place the professional in the position of being in need of discovering what is wrong? Do not accuse anyone of wrongdoings? Only state facts. This type of approach places whoever does not help, in the eyes of the law. Understanding how to make sure children live without abuse has taken me years of practice, acquiring a Ph.D. in Public Safety, and winning my children back from an abuser.
My goal as your Legal Advocate is to help you make sure that your children live in a safe environment. No matter what it takes, my goal is to help you win your case and reach your goals. I am here to help you understand your case, what your attorney is or is not doing, and become your voice when no help can be found. Furthermore, as a Legal Advocate, not an attorney, medical doctor, or therapist, I am free to pursue avenues to save your children from the abuse that others only fear.
Please feel free to contact me at any time. I am here to help you as your Legal Advocate or Life Coach when no one else cares or understands what you are going through.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate, & Survivor
Sandra Speer, Ph.D. is a world-renowned Author, Keynote Speaker, and Certified Life Coach and Disaster Recovery Coach who offers Seminars, Group, and Personal Coaching designed to show all how to move beyond their past to live happy and successful lives. Dr. Speer knows from personal experience as a survivor of a lifetime of abuse, that recovery brings happiness and chances for unlimited success. As a Legal Advocate, Dr. Speer strives to ensure that abusers are punished. Nothing makes her happier than watching prosecuting attorneys go to jail, children return to their right parent, and individuals find justice with her assistance. If you need to charge, fight the system, or in need of making a complaint against a doctor, mental health practitioner, corporation, or institution; Dr. Speer has the experience needed to win your case. Her publications include “Terrorism Inside America’s Borders,” “The Remains of Hurricane Katrina” with various articles written as a contributing journalist for educational books and publications, FEMA, and the American Red Cross to help all understand Trauma.
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
I need help with calling the courts about my mom’s will…in new city ny…its Me
Hi Deborah:
I am looking forward to helping you. I will be in contact with you within the next few days. Yes, I am able to help you.
Sincerely,
Dr. Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
I have found nothing but bias court, and predator attorneys. I’m a domestic violence survior.. and an alienated mom.
No one looked at the proof, ie police reports. I’ve been put three hell. Even the military knew of the abuse and did nothing.
Lisa:
Thank you for writing. Sadly, what you’re going through is far too common. Whether the problem is coming from those in rule not understanding and going by textbook definitions only, the people being hurt are children and innocent parents.
Please feel free to contact me to schedule a free introductory phone consultation and we will explore how I can help you work through the horrors that you are going through. In many cases, I am able to help my clients reverse negative rulings.
I am looking forward to meeting you.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
Me too. How can you help, Dr. Speer?
Hi Bridget: I have email📧 consultation, which offers an evaluation of your case, help to understand what you are going through with your attorney and the court system, and advice regarding how to change the outcome of your case. Furthermore, I can handle all communications with the system on your behalf, assist with the compiling of all necessary legal documents, and act as an expert witness. All introductory calls are FREE and scheduled by appointment only. So, please do not hesitate to contact me at any time, all of your questions are welcomed.
I have a Ph.D. in Public Safety, I am not an attorney, I am an Advocate with the education and experience to assist with almost all legal issues that you may face when leaving an abuser. Please feel free to join me for my FREE Zoom Support Group, bring your questions, Thursday, 7/1/2020(and most Thursdays), at 6 PM CST🕕 by following this link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8134954955?pwd=VlU2SSt3Q2FIdWI3UzF4MktsUGZwZz09 , and this password: Abusemewhy
If you miss the Zoom support group, please join my FB group, “Abuse me. Why?” for 24/7 support and additional FREE Live Support Group opportunities.
I perform the service because I care and know that the only way to change the system is to win one case at a time.
Very Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
Can you help me? Jeanne
512 797 0313.
I want to go to Federal Court.
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It doesn’t do no good, I’ve told them, but they don’t believe me
Dear Angelique:
I can help you change the outcome of your case and situation. There are ways to work with parental alienation. Please don’t give up.
Please allow me to help you by scheduling a FREE introductory call with me to explore how I can help you.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
I need help with finding my kids
Hi Latoya:
Please feel free to email me at any time. I am looking forward to assisting you.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
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I need help with my alienated daughter. She is 15. Her fate her won’t speak to me about he. We share custody and I haven’t seen her in a year. Can you help me?
Hi Laura:
Yes, I can help you. Of course, as you can probably guess, I need more details.
I would appreciate being able to talk with you via phone, FB messenger, or Zoom. Please offer me a few times that would work for you and what time zone you are in so we can coordinate our time.
I am looking forward to hearing back from you very soon.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
[email protected]
I need help getting my children back from social services. Can you help? This has been a long 2 1/2 yr battle which has resulted in my then 5 year old daughter being molested in the foster home she was placed in and shipped down south to a modern day orphanage where I have not seen her since. 😭 my rights have been terminated to 2 and I am still fighting for 3 of them. My email is [email protected]
Dear Lindsay:
Yes, I am able to help you with SS. We have to explore your case together in order to figure out what they are using against you. Once, I understand that part, we can then figure out how to help you work toward reunification with your daughter.
Of course, we need to talk so I can learn more about your case.
I am looking forward to talking with you very soon.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
I am desperate! They have stolen my children and I have to protect them.!!!
Hi Rene:
I understand your desperation and need to protect your children. We need to talk so I can gain an understanding of your case.
All introductory calls are free.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
My kids got taken away from me and al we get is one zoom call a week.
I have all kids of evidence of being alienated and. Bruises on my child, the judge refuses to look at any of it. My ex has lied continuously and they take his word (and his waterworks) over actual facts with proof
My kids are miserable and they are old enough to give valid reasons of why they feel that way
I can’t believe how much this goes on to parents who actually are trying to protect their kids
Dear Debbi:
Sadly, this is not at all unusual. You are being wrongly accused of being the alienated parent. Abusers are able to get away with this form of lying because being able to hide their true personalities in court settings. Often the desires of the child are ignored.
Yes, I am able to help you. Please feel free to contact me at any time to join me in a free consultation to discuss your case and how I can help you.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
I am a grandparent fighting for my rights they have done so much wrong I would not be Pershing this but I know they have done wrong I’ve been looking everything up to know all the big words they use my 3 granddaughters I will never give up on so much damage has been done to my family it’s so heartbreaking it’s hard to carry on in this life if I have to go without my baby’s
Dear Julie:
I am looking forward to talking to you about how I can help you. I would like to set up a time when we could talk over your situation and explore what I can do for you. The alienation of grandparents is horrible within the system. Please don’t give up. The effects on all involved are heartbreaking. Yes, I can help you.
All Introductory Consultations are free. Nothing to worry about.
I have time available Thursday at 10 AM or 2 PM CST. Or, Friday, 9 AM CST. If one of those times does not work for you. Please offer me a couple of times that would work for you, if you would like to speak using FB messenger, telephone, or Zoom.
I am looking forward to hearing back from you very soon.
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate
[email protected]
I have had my children removed and my baby day after birth. Accused of having rare mental health issues when I don’t have them. My bed t is being adopted can you help 😢
I believe I have been alienated for years from my daughter. Her therapist saw it and agrees. Recently she claimed I hit her and went to her father’s. Dcp&p ruled it unfounded and the court put the regular custody order back in place but they are refusing to allow her to come back/ she is saying no. She’s 15 and the court ordered reunification therapy but nothing is happening, she says she needs more time. Any advice?
Sadly you’re caught in a rough situation because of your child’s age. In most parts of the world, your child is of age to say who she wants to live with. Of course, it sounds as if she is being brainwashed, which is what parental alienation does. So, the child is not talking for herself, she is talking for the alienator.
It also sounds like you are involved in the wrongful ruling of which parent is the alienator.
One, in my opinion, you should not give up because one day your children will know that you have not given up and mean a lot to them. In the meantime, you should remember that you are doing all that you can and that she is talking for her abuser, not herself.
Please feel free to arrange to talk, all first consultations are free. I will help you understand your case, how to turn it around, and recovery.
I am looking forward to meeting you very soon.
Hi. I need help with these child snatchers thank you
Hi Julie:
I can definitely help you. The best way for us to start is to set up a time to talk. All introductory sessions are free, and my fees are affordable because I want you to have help.
Also, please feel free to join my FB group and the live sessions that I conduct every other week on Thursdays at 6 PM your time. The older sessions are recorded and filed in the announcements of the group for you to listen to whenever convenient. I hope to hear from you very soon. https://www.facebook.com/groups/abusemewhy
Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate, & Survivor
[email protected]