My career, education, and life experiences support my passion for helping survivors of abuse.
As a teenager, I pledged that I would one day use all that I learn to help others. At that time, I thought I had only been sexually abused. It was not until much later that I realized my abusers were my mother and father. My mother was psychotic and emotionally and physically abused me since infancy. There is reason to suspect that she caused me to suffer brain injuries that caused my neurological issues. For example, I have Trigeminal Neuralgia; facial neuralgia known to cause many to commit suicide from the difficult to control pain.
I lost good and bad memories as a result of my brain’s protective measure of dissociation. Dissociation occurs when your brain blocks traumatic events from your memory. Your brain blocks these uncomfortable thoughts to protect you from the effects that the incident could have on your emotions and physical body. Often when speaking with family and friends who think that I should remember good times spent with them, I realize that I was stricken from blocks of my life. Some of those times, I will never remember. But, enough of the horrific memories have surfaced to assure me that I did experience a lifetime of different forms of extreme abuse. I was also robbed of being able to have normal feelings, relationships, and successes.
My abuse was never reported because my father was a child psychologist who used his ability to manipulate the brain to convince me that my neurological and vision disabilities would cause me to never amount to anything. I did not have anyone telling me that my childhood was filled with abuse. So, I thought emotional and physical beatings were normal. I later learned that my assumption that all people do is fight, was wrong. I did not know that love was possible. I cried daily for someone to like me. Today, I still have times when I wonder if anyone cares about me, which I know is only PTSD. I have learned to use what I learned growing up and living in that environment most of my life to help others deal with legal issues with their abusers and recovery.
During psychotherapy, as an older adult, I learned that my brain had also turned most of my senses off. I discovered that fact when I gained the vision in one eye that I never had before as a result of my brain releasing many of the memories. The hard part to accept about my restoration of sight was that I lived my life being told that I would one day become fully blind because one eye could not continue to work for both. And, my father used the lack of vision to assist him in his effort to convince me that I was the black sheep of the family and a failure. As per the miraculous return of sight, the only explanation a Neuro-Ophthalmologist could offer was that my brain turned the sight back on when the memories of the horrific abuse were released.
When I was 9, my psychologist father moved a boy almost ten years older than I was into our home, who raped me until I left home at the age of 17. My clinical child psychologist father enjoyed psychological experiments. He convinced the boy’s parents that he would cure their child of his inappropriate behavior by making him a part of our so-called normal family. Did my father know that this boy, the oldest of ten children, was raping his sisters? A few years after this human experiment left our home, the not cured boy was sent to jail for assault of someone else. I left home at age 17 to live until I was 58 carrying a ball and chain of guilt that I was the cause of the sexual behavior. My mother vowed until the day she died that I asked for everything that this boy did to me. She never hesitated to call me a "Slut" for anyone who would listen.
My Qualifications and Services as a Legal Advocate & Life Coach
Since I left home at the age of 17, I have obtained two business degrees, a Ph.D. in Public Safety, and certifications as a professional/life coach and disaster recovery coach. Part of my work background consists of Emergency Management preparedness education as a journalist and trainer for FEMA and the American Red Cross. I also survived having lost my home to Hurricane Katrina. Furthermore, I am a published author of articles and books, both fiction and nonfiction. And, I enjoyed a 20+ year career as a broadcaster.
Today, I am living my dream of using all that I learned during my life to help others going through trauma recovery and legal issues with their abusers. As a survivor of child abuse of all forms, domestic violence, and parental alienation; I pledge to you that my heart goes into each session I have with each of my clients, whether I am working with them as their Legal Advocate, Life Coach, or both.
As your Life Coach, I help you begin the process of finding a safe environment to share your experiences, feelings, and worries with because I understand your needs because I have been where you are today. I assist you with understanding what you are going through. My goal is to see you become free of the chains that bind you to your abuser and past.
Please don't hesitate to ask for my assistance through recovery. Recovery is far too easy to give up on if you don't have the help you need from a Life Coach who nurtures you with understanding until you are ready to experience happiness and success in your life.
With a little help during recovery, your dreams can come true!
As an activist, I instrumented a campaign working with public officials to assist individuals in acquiring shelter after experiencing natural disasters. I have also successfully acted as the voice for victims of legal, medical disputes custody(Parental Alienation), and CPS cases. When you feel as if you are being bullied by the bureaucracy, family court, or law enforcement it is time to contact me.
As your activist, I become your voice because of having the education and experience to successfully mediate until we reach your goal. I help you understand your case, learn how to communicate effectively with your opponent whether Narcissist or CPS, and help you gain a successful direction with your case. I do not leave you on your own until you feel that you are successfully reaching your goal of winning your case. Or, we win your case together with me as your Legal Advocate doing whatever it takes to help you succeed. Because of not being an attorney, there are no restrictions on what I can implement to reach your goal.
As a motivational speaker/broadcaster/published author, I have worked with audiences of one as well as 5,000+. There is nothing I enjoy more than motivating as many survivors as possible during support groups, or individual coaching.
I have pre-designed “Time to Unstick Yourself” life coaching workshops geared for all ages. Or, I custom my “Time to Unstick Yourself” speeches or workshops to fit the needs of any audience.
I am very proud to offer my teen “Time to Unstick Yourself” workshop designed to show young adults what going to jail does to their lives. While the discussion of what jail is like is still fresh, I progress to helping them see how they can design successful paths in life. We also talk about the different forms of abuse teens need to be aware of and how to work through the incidences.
My Legal Advocacy or Life Coaching packages range in price. My fees are structured to fit any budget because I want all to be able to afford the help that one may need. I don't want to see any survivor give up on recovery. Ask about group sessions, priced as low as $6.50 an hour, or email legal advocacy or life coaching, which is $47.50 a month.
If you are an artist and a survivor, please consider offering your art, story, or song to be posted on the site to become a part of the “Abuse me. Why” campaign geared to educating and helping the public and survivors understand abuse issues. Ten years of my background were spent working to advance the careers of independent artists. I loved it. And, I love working with survivors. So, I combined both by saying, "Hey, Survivors, with art, stories, or songs, let us educate and lift up the hearts of other survivors by sharing." Don't worry, it is FREE to post your art, story, or song. Contact us for more information, looking forward to having you as part of our "Abuse me. Why?" campaign geared to educating and lifting up the hearts of survivors throughout the world.
Survivors, I do Understand
A key to recovery is found when a survivor begins to control
triggers through the development of an understanding that they are only
reminders, not the actual abuse. I help survivors learn that they can trust and like themselves enough to control triggers, which opens doors for them to find the freedom to live their dreams. PTSD does not have to be a life sentence of suffering.
No matter how much education I have, or work credentials, what is important is that my work touches the hearts of survivors. My dedication is the result of having been emotionally, physically, sexually abused since infancy, and never taking my eye off of my dream of one day helping other survivors.
For more information, please feel free to explore the site, or contact me any time to answer any of your questions.
I look forward to the honor of meeting you very soon.
Very Sincerely,
Dr. Sandra Speer, Ph.D., CLC, CDRC, Legal Advocate, & Survivor